tarde: visita a mt shasta para celebrar a passagem do ano. deu tempestade, começou a nevar enquanto estávamos lá. no carro marcava -10°c. demos uma voltinha e voltamos rápido.
na foto abaixo, antes da tempestade chegar, mãe tenta se equilibrar e caminhar na neve foufa.
19h34 a cidade aqui é tão… [?!] que os fogos de ano novo aconteceram as 18h.
d
manhã
(artigo) clarissa diniz – vivos e aqui –– revista dasquestões – antropofagias futuras (2021)
ler esse texto traz um certo choque. o espírito de vingança prevalece. um come o outro e assim segue-se.
06h40 não é fuga, mas… tivemos mudanças no percurso…
manhã: yoga travado — dor nas costas de cortar lenha.
18h37 há alguns dias, fiz algo especial com mãe: dançamos algumas músicas e depois que acalmamos, sentamos e apenas escutamos música. ela não conhecia philip glass e foi um deleite escutar algumas (the hours suite + mad rush) inteiras, olhando a neve cair durante a noite. ela ficou extremamente animada para escutar mais… no dia seguinte, assistimos o filme as horas.
(doc) Cobra Gypsies (2015)
manhã:
ailton krenak e viviane mosé – diálogos imprevisíveis – velocidade — instituto estação das letras (02.2021)
início da diagramação AIS.
14h24 agora que começo a pensar mais a fundo na produção da obra física, chequei as possibilidades e prazos de impressão… se eu mandar na próxima segunda, talvez há a possibilidade de chegar a tempo, antes de ir para sp. corrida contra o tempo.
19h49 algo que começo a compreender: fazer e jogar para o mundo. o que isso significa? a possibilidade de reverberar. (rever berrar)
não é para ter problema. a ideia é simples: pegar tudo que foi produzido nessa jornada e organizar num livreto. tão simples…
manhã: yoga ao som de emahoy. dos melhores instantes
tarde: cortação de lenha e caminhada
noite: don’t look up com mãe
08h54 i celebrate the life and work of two men that passed away today:
archbishop desmond tutu — how to deal with evil? love and joy!
painter wayne thiebaud — love his work and the way he talked about painting. very passionate and humble. 101 years old, working till the last days.
(live) viviane mosé e maria homem – lupa da alma e02 – o valor da vida — café filosófico (2021)
descobrindo a força da palavra da viviane mosé! que presente!
(audio) gosto de deleuze, mas prefiro meu pai – gabi bresola
experimento artístico com leitura do próprio pai da autora, a quem ela ela tem preferência. recomendo o audio, uma ponte entre as palavras finas da academia e um sotaque e expressões sinceras.
(live) ernesto neto – plano de artista (2021)
arte é oferenda
o saber é bom, mas também criou o não-saber.
(film) the power of the dog — dir. jane campion (2021) – c/ mãe
manhã
viviane mosé – o que pode a palavra? — café filosófico (2008)
13h32 nos últimos três dias tenho acordado por volta das 5am. isto não é um bom sinal. motivo do pouco sono? sem dúvida: jantar.
21h45 sono. hoje caminhamos no parque e caixa d’água.
12h26 driving with mother to show a house. conditions are: snowing a lot, dirt road with 10 cm of snow. the alarm in the car said the back tire is way down. another alarm, gas is low. we got to the house, but there is the way back. i was driving worried, but then, i realized that all my nervous contraction wouldn’t help the situation. what can one do? if something happens, i surely will do something (have no clue where to begin, but since i don’t need it, all is well)
thinking about life. what we wait for is a permission to be and do ourselves. i wonder why is so. all the worries and the struggle. actually, the struggle is life. as soon as i really act with this knowledge, most of the demons/worries/situations evaporates.
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to whom i felt i had to explain myself: only to me and the beings that i’ve created.
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the world is open.
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to build our own island. a truthful one — just create reality as we want
filmes com mãe
23h57 começar trabalhar e terminar
09h29
(podcast) #113 gritopoesia (com larissa moraes) – imposturas filosóficas – 2021
(podcast) a brush with… oscar murillo (2021)
first time listening to him. interesting, mainly to hear what a young, south american born artist has to say.
16h11 meau came back to say hello // meau voltou pra dar um alou
20h27 matutando aqui sobre os desejos e afins. já escutei falar sobre desejar direito… e começo a perceber que muitas vezes ou desejamos errado ou desejamos apenas na fala. e as ações?
23h29 hoje foi um dia atípico, mas a partir de hoje não há mais rotina nem imersão. os próximos serão férias com mãe. hoje finalmente as botas para neve chegaram, porém a previsão é chuva. pensando em tempo, já sinto uma leve pressão para fazer as coisas acontecerem. condição natural. me anima ver os devaneios de alice. inspirações e experiências compartilhadas transformam-se em combustível.
um livro que havia comprado há algumas semanas não foi entregue e retornaram o valor. comprei-o novamente e acabei comprando mais dois // a book i’ve bought some weeks ago didn’t arrive and they refunded it. bought it from another seller and included two more.
07h11 um espetáculo todo nascer do sol. // a spectacle in every sunrise
j.p. 2017 14 – introduction to traits / psychometrics / the big 5
j.p. 2017 15 biology traits – the limbic system
j.p. 2017 16 biology and traits — incentive reward/threat // extraversion // neuroticism
14h50 religar
(doc)
paul klee – the silence of the angel (2005)
21h12 i didn’t work in the studio today, but coming back from the night’s conversation, i did some moon-drawing photographs.
22h29
ao invês de gravata colorida
prefiro pulseira huni kuin colorida.
simples escolha que traz sorriso e bons ares.
instead of a colorful tie
i prefer a colorful huni kuin bracelet.
simple choice that brings smile and fresh air.
08h34 it doesn’t matter what time i go to sleep, i always get up around 6. what a gift to see the sunrise. drink coffee. read. the silence before the birds. a completely new day.
“there is a literary idea every time there is no plastic invention.”
odilon redon – to himself — in the book painting and reality
08h49 i was thinking about the lecture i’ve watched yesterday. besides being painterly delicious, i enjoy even more the work of bruno dunley because he thinks by painting. i admire and appreciate it!
“lembrete: sua fatura vence amanhã.”
(essay) octavio paz – breach and convergence (1986)
20h50 superar as referências // overcome the references
08h47 flechada braba
10h43 se for para julgar, que seja para ver o melhor. as qualidades também (principalmente?) estão no olhar. desejo ver as boas possibilidades.
14h43 i really don’t like situations where we cannot deny our own participation….
“there will be a dinner, and this person expects that we go”
(video course)
lisa congdon – becoming a working artist 01~06
oh well. lisa has knowledge in areas that i have not, so i am learning about the contemporary (internet) side of possibilities. as with all courses, you have to get what you need/can/must and discard what doesn’t resonate in this moment.
(art lecture)
debates sobre arte contemporânea I – dudi maia rosa – usp (2016)
é um deleite quando escuto alguém e logo penso: “esse/essa aí é doid@!” — é o que sinto toda vez que escuto o dudi.
debates sobre arte contemporânea II – bruno dunley – usp (2016)
(live) bebel abreu — fala miolos: design e possibilidades gráficas em zines (2021)
28x22cm
ink & pencil
28x21cm
pencil
09h46 time passes by
(video essay)
james ensor and the french avant-garde – “long live free, free art!” – scott allan – getty museum (2021)
14h47 entered the digital hoarder black hole spiral once again. while waiting for a small painting to dry (guardian of reason), i looked for a pdf: gustavo reginato – pequeno manual do empoderamento gráfico. the author has an independent publishing house in florianópolis and this little book has some suggestions about publishing. gave it a look and searched for other books in the bibliography:
searching this last author, the black hole expanded. i went to academia.edu and not only artist’s book and indie publishing, but i arrived at ethnographic photograph books… also, just found amir cadôr’s page on issuu, he has uploaded a ton of artist’s book… oh my…
… also discovered a praça, beautiful idea.
… i already had this bookmarked: https://colecaolivrodeartista.wordpress.com/ – seems amir cadôr is the responsible for the project. it makes sense…
… https://www.nieves.ch/ – oh my…
28x21cm
ink
07h36
insecure? so let’s work in creation, that will sooth your aflictions…
it can be heaven or hell, sometimes all at once.
08h55
let’s be criti
09h36
each work a universe.
14h14 helped dana clear the road. i love working with snow and shovel.
15h20 masterclass yo-yo ma
good to share nice works with mother. she loved the film and the poetry.
13h08
today is really snowing. i estimate at least some 15cm (6in). i did an experiment. took some papers outside with some ink. it didn’t take long for the papers to get covered. i don’t have adequate shoes for this weather. i also wonder how will i drive the car to pick mother at her work. i am drinking an delicious cup of brazilian coffee.
the weather changed. time to move this painting.
já fui reverente, agora sou só paciente
mafalda
23h31 finished watching kitano’s achilles and the tortoise movie. it has been almost 10 years that i’ve watched and it got me in a complete different way. the quest for an ideal art. trying and trying. market. relationships. not realizing what matters — be it in the work or in contact with others/life. how to cope with the romanticized vision of the artist? because clearly this is something i think about. how not to miss what really matters? clarity of being — and of language.
to find create a working method.
one inspires the other and that’s life. it gives meaning.
a few days ago, for the first time in my life, i chopped wood for fire. what a pleasurable action. we are stocking it for the next days, which are getting colder and colder. phone over 1h30 with a. afterwards, went to etna.
12h19 chuva forte.
12h56 i, that operate through images, just realized that most of the posts here have been texts. why’s that? am i lazy to just take photographs and post them? or… i don’t want to post them in instagram, otherwise i’ll be stuck with the cellphone. the race
08h12
i heard about assertiveness for the first time in a nvc course some years ago. then i did another course and got deeper into it. yesterday i did a test and it showed what i already knew: my assertiveness is very low. so what to do? read a book about it. just started the assertiveness workbook, by randy j. peterson.
[why do i feel quasi-ashamed to write it here? because it might fit the “self-help” section of books? oh, my prejudices. in any case, isn’t all books self-help? all philosophy and literature included. two of the prejudices, at least mine, is truly against digested thoughts and the motivation of the work — when we can see we think we know the creator’s motivation is money or recognition.]
back to the book. it seems really helpful to understand about the possibilities that an assertive communication can bring. in this perspective, what are the other options? passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive. i would rather learn a better, most respectful way to myself and others than to let my ignorance and automatism prevail.
i never officially did, but it seems that writing is starting to be a kind of therapy. anyways, i will start as soon i go back home.
night: while mother and i were watching the movie mr jones, we’ve heard dana screaming. she was excited because it was snowing. the first snow of the year gives us so much pleasure and hapiness.
07h55
o que eu sei // o que eu sinto
what do i know // what do i feel
what do i know // how do i feel
socrates dialogue about bed (painting and reality 6.3, etienne gilson)
finally the sky is clear and i can see the sunrise. delight.
16h54
bike ride this afternoon. went to the library for the first time here in yreka. had some interesting books, not too many in the art section. it had a huge catalogue of ben shahn, american artist that i’ve wanted to know more… also i did some drawing based on prints from a siskiyou county’s history book. most of the info was around the 1850~90’s. lots of portuguese and even brazilian heritage in this region. who would’ve known?!
also went to the new cafe+book shop here in town. coudn’t resist and bought a book: octavio paz’s the other voice. essays about modern poetry. to deal with my problem with books — problem because it is an addiction — i will start writing about the books i’m buying. hopefully it will get things a bit more controlled. if i had the money, i would buy with no hard feeling. but i haven’t, so i shouldn’t.
it feels good to do exercise. it’s getting colder and colder…
noite: mãe apareceu aqui de surpresa. fizemos uma ligação com amanda. foi das melhores ligações da vida. falamos sobre amor, conexões, histórias e planejamentos.
23h25
again, i sit to write only when i am completely exhausted. i’ve been working a lot, drawings and to celebrate, even paintings.
i have a reasons to celebrate.
11.11.2022
16h27
went to mount shasta this morning. it has been foggy for a few days, but i took the chance to go up the mountain. i got lucky and sometimes the sky got clear. because of the cold, i did some drawings inside the car. it was pleasurable.
yesterday i spoke with grandma and finally she named the chicken that was hers to name it: ladybug (joaninha!) such a perfect name!
07h16 read camus’ essay create dangerously. short but powerful read.
yesterday i got some books in the mail. the most incredible is manoel de barros’s compilation in english. i am amazed! just to see that someone tried what seemed an impossible task — to translate manoel! him and fernando pessoa, with all my limitations, makes me love the portuguese language.
23h34
lazy sunday. at least in the atelier. walk in park with mother. christmas lights around the house. cellphone fell while i was trying to make a photograph of a beautiful buck. i won’t look for a solution right now. i feel this as an omen: stop wasting time and go to work.
i was already in bed a while a go and couldn’t resist going to sleep without making anything today. got up and did some drawings.
i now know why i create. to exist.